Courage.

 "Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
~ President Thomas S. Monson

I've been thinking about courage a lot lately. A couple of weeks ago I was babysitting at a lady's house, a little girl was visiting the two boys that I was watching. As the lady explained to me the children's bedtime routine, dinner, etc., the little girl questioned me about my face and why I was different. This took me by surprise because it had been quite a while since someone has asked me why I looked the way I do (except for that one instance in seminary third tri when a kid asked me if I had just been back from the dentist. I was very bugged that a high school student would ask such a question, until I found out he had autism:). I tried to explain to this four year old girl how I had gotten in an accident with a rooster when I was younger, but of course children keep asking questions! I tried to explain but then got sick of her prodding and silly faces that she was making, trying to copy mine and I started ignoring her. I know that wasn't the nicest/smartest thing to do but I didn't know what else to do. Finally bed time came and I had the quiet home to myself. As I sat on their couch I started thinking. What if my own children someday see their mommy as 'the mom with a different face!?'  Why is this happening to me!? 

Before I even tried to let myself answer those questions, I was reminded. Remember, remember. Remember that time in Philly when I was so homesick and worried about the surgeries, I poured out my heart to Heavenly Father and was comforted and strengthened through Him? Remember that time when I was able to share 'my story' with my peers in seminary and the spirit testified to me yet again that I am a Daughter of God and that this trial I've been blessed with is for my own good? Remember that time when I learned through my trials that God is real?! That He cares, loves, and wants the very best for me? Remember that time when I was teased and made fun of, I was 'the girl with a crooked smile.' But, it was at that time in my life when I learned to rely on the Lord, it was at that time when I learned that no matter what others may say/do, I was #1 in His eyes? Remember that one time when I was so scared, yet again for another surgery, and I came across this scripture: 

"Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you..." - D&C 68:6

Yet again another testifying moment that He cares about me and loves me? He was blessing me with this trial because He loves me? Yes...I need to always remember those moments. Because of those moments, I can push aside that fear that Satan gives me and have faith. Faith that I can get through this. 99.9% of the time I'm fine with my smile and who I am, but just like every other human being, I get self-conscious about how I look. But, I need to always remember that I'm not judged by how the world sees me, for the Lord looketh on the heart (1 Sam. 16:7). I know who I am, I know God's plan, I'll follow Him in faith! 

"I am a Daughter of a King, who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me, and goes before me. I do not fear because I am His." 

-Unknown

Please do not think I post these kinds of things for pity, that is not the reason at all. I just want to share my testimony, and share that even though life is rough...it's possible with God! Through Him I have found courage, strength, peace, love and comfort. He is real. And He does love us, that's why He blesses us with hard days and trials! 

 I was listening on the Mormon Channel (love that website!) and came across this: Love One Another. I have found lately that I connect easily with people who are going through heartache, dealing with physical disabilities. My heart goes out to them, this boy, Jon, sounded like an amazing kid. There were many points in 'his story' that his parents were sharing when I thought to myself, 'Hey! I've felt that way too before!' :) It's through Christ and Heavenly Father, that Jon, just like I have, found true happiness and was able to 'embrace' his difference. I do love my smile, and am so so grateful for it and the lessons I've learned. I wouldn't trade it for a perfect one! Not until the Resurrection, that is. ;)